I've been asked to write and share about my Sabbath-keeping experience. I am more than happy to do so but before I get into it I need to clear the air surrounding the subject. How can something so good and wholesome create so much tension and resistance? This has been the question I have wrestled with these last few days in regards to New Life Fellowship’s initiative and invitation to keep Sabbath during this Lent season. Time and time again, I have found myself having to defend my decision to keep Sabbath (a twenty-four hour period of uninterrupted nothingness and rest). I have met a great deal of opinions and negativity (from non-New Life members) when I have shared about my recent journey and struggles in getting to know Jesus more intimately and personally through Sabbath-keeping.
It seems I have spent a great deal of time having to justify my decision to observe Sabbath. There are very strong opinions on the matter. I'm still processing the emotions that are swirling inside me and since I am committed to a gentler, kinder "Idilio" I have chosen to sit it out for the time being and not respond with my gut reaction. With that said, I am praying for wisdom in how to respond to the nay-sayers and critics regarding my personal free will choice to incorporate Sabbath. Suffice it to say, for the time being, yes it is annoying to me how something so wholesome and beneficial creates such controversy but I guess this is the way it is always with things that are worthwhile and meaningful.
I decided (a few months ago) to get into the weekly habit of committing to a Sabbath. Well guess what? I found it almost near impossible to stop, rest, contemplate, and delight. Looking back, I remember vividly the inner struggle I was confronted with when I decided to say yes to the experimental invitation of observing the Sabbath. The first hurdle I recall having to overcome was my aversion to silence. I am not a friend of silence. If you know me you can attest to my personal preference for all things loud. I laugh hard. I walk and run heavy footed. I love to lift my voice in resounding booming prayer. I never have a problem raising my voice but feel like I am being punished when asked to observe silence. I prefer shouting for joy over contemplation any day of the week!
I am a friend of noise.
Maybe, I'm going deaf in my middle age but I like my music, TV, and conversations on high volume. I hate funerals and libraries. I can sleep through a howling thunderstorm. I love that the pipes clang and bang all through the night while I sleep. I cringe when Pastor Pete or Drew or Rich or anyone for that matter kindly requests we take a minute or two to observe silence. I find it almost impossible to center myself since I have lived my whole life off-balance. Only at bedtime is silence appropriate. This is me most days .ARE YOU SENSING MY NATURAL AVERSION TO SSHHH...quiet, please?
It has been a definite challenge to commit to slowing down, stopping, and turning the volume down.I hope to share with you in more detail my struggles and personal observations with Sabbath-keeping in future posts. I am writing a piece about my personal fears about silence and how facing it head on has set me on a smoother path to doing what I do best; the act of delighting (my favorite part of Sabbath). And yes, I am finding delight. I am discovering the rhythms God has uniquely placed in me and set aside for me to discover. But as I mentioned earlier and know personally to be true, everything worthwhile and of benefit must come at a price. The invitation to surrender is the willful act of stopping and resting. I am sure you the same is being asked of you and wondering if it is worth it. You alone can answer that for yourself. All I can do is share from my heart my own personal struggles with this alien concept called "Sabbath" and hope it encourages you in your own personal journey.
All I can tell you from where I stand, months into the practice, is that Sabbath is a two-way street and if given half the chance will undoubtedly produce divine encounters of the first kind; spirit to spirit lasting connections. I kid you not nor am I trying to sell you on this when I tell you that something is slowly happening to me that although too early to tell seems to have brought me closer to enjoying God and vice-versa. We serve The Lord of the Sabbath; the God who gives us rest on every side. We just have to simply say "yes" to His holy invitation and give it half a chance. Believe me, He will gladly do the rest and before you know it you will be counting the hours until you are seated around the table and about to light the Sabbath candle. What a welcoming and bright glow it does emanate to every burdened and weary heart.
Crooked Notes by Idilio Rivera is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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