Monday, April 19, 2010

My Attention Seeking Tendencies

I haven't blogged in awhile. At least not here. I had been asked to blog about Sabbath-keeping and devoted most of my writing time to that project. It was fun but I must readily confess it was hard to do. I discovered how much I crave attention through my writing. Always knew it deep down but joining other Sabbath bloggers brought out the worst in me. At times, it felt like a competition; who could write the best blog and get the most kudos. Absolutely hated what I saw about myself but deep down grateful to see where my true affections lie. I am deeply insecure to the very core and I seek approval in one way or another. Oh well, life goes on and this does not mean I am any less or worse off because of it. It is always a good thing in my book to know one self and see things for what they are. I crave attention and acclaim. This should come as no surprise to me. What bothers me about it is that I am convinced I will not be an effective writer until this need for approval is met and taken care of. There is a message in me to the Church which cannot be told if I am going to be concerned with people's reactions and criticisms? Good thing God is working in me and ultimately will prevail and overcome my deep insecurities.

Well, I have to get back to blogging and with God's help I will do so.


Started a new job today. Hurray! Will keep you posted on how things go. 


Attended a glorious conference this past weekend and have much to say on the subject. My heart was re-awakened once again to the touch of God's spirit. Heard many amazing truths I hope to share and elaborate in the near future. Let it suffice to say for now I definitely was re-introduced to this glorious man I talk about often. I feel as if a whole new side and aspect to the person of Jesus was revealed to me. I fell in love all over again! This man has a way of captivating and recapturing my attention. To use an analogy I am very familiar with, I feel like someone who has been dancing all night to the best Salsa music only to discover the best music and dancing has but only begun. Drenched in sweat I get back on the dance floor and give myself over to the rhythm, knowing I am too weak to resist. 


Well, that is all for now. I must retire. I know tomorrow will be a glorious day. Time to dream and rest for the night. Good night, y'all. See ya in the mornin....


Crooked Notes by Idilio Rivera is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.