As Donald Trump would say "You're Fired!"

What a difference a day makes. Approximately two weeks ago I was celebrating with my Prayer Circle at Church how I had been offered a promotion and a raise. You can imagine the joy I felt and how truly thankful I was for such a blessing. I was poised to move up the ladder of success and was more than ready for the advancement. Today I was given the heart-breaking news, my promotion has been rescinded and my present position lies perilously at stake.

I was grilled today concerning an oversight in some paperwork I submitted to my Supervisor a week ago. As a result of this blunder she was dismissed yesterday. It appears she approved something which was incomplete and should not have been approved to begin with. I can only surmise this was just one of several strings of errors that led to her sudden dismissal. In any case, today was my turn. To make the long story short I was found accountable and equally to blame for my Supervisor's lack of judgment in approving a foster home which now seems to have glaring deficiencies; placing young children in jeopardy. Instead of being fired right there and then, my Superiors felt I should go home and wait for their final decision on Tuesday.

The outcome does not look favorable. I don't want to read into the matter but it appears I may soon be out of gainful employment. I was informed even if I were to remain I would most probably be demoted. With that demotion may come a period of probation and even a pay cut. The same person who just two weeks ago sang my praises today stared at me with disdain and read me my final rites. Dead man walking.

But allow me to share with you great news in the midst of everything that transpired today. As painful as this experience has been and no doubt may become I found myself at peace. I'm not just saying this. I actually felt a calmness come over me during what seemed like a trial without jury. As she sat there and asked me the questions that would serve as the rope my neck would hang on, I found myself peacefully resigned to whatever the outcome. Don't get me wrong, my mind was working overtime trying desperately to find the right words and excuses but each and every time I summoned the strength and integrity to accept full responsibility for my mistake. My flesh wanted to take over and rush in with convincing words that would somehow get me off the hook. I wanted to give indignation freedom to speak up and make her see differently but each and every time this overwhelming peace won over allowing me to speak calmly, steadily, and submissively.

Some may look at this latter display as weakness on my part; an inability to defend myself and assert my right to explain away the incriminating evidence brought up against me. I choose to see it in a different light. I prefer to believe I was choosing to put my sole defense in God's hand. No matter what the enemy may have in store for me I truly believe God is able to turn it around and has greater blessings instead if I simply step back and allow him to fight on my behalf. I guess you can say, as I sat there and heard the accusations leveled against my work performance, which in the last three years had not once been questioned or brought under fire, I viewed it as a golden opportunity to allow God to come to my defense. Although in the natural it appeared as if I was being unfairly treated and I was doing nothing about it but I choose to believe instead my character was being further refined and I was being shown how much I have grown in the last year.

There are a million ways to look at this scenario. A million possibilities. I pray only one outcome. May I walk away from this experience further molded and shaped into the image of the one I long to be like. I have been accused and maligned so many times in my life. Misread. Misunderstood and mistreated. Today was the first time in my thirty-nine years of life where I consciously and willfully chose to lay down my sword and dared not lash out and take control. There was no joy in the act. Wish I could say it was the most emotionally rewarding experience today but I would be flat out  lying to you. I also wish I could tell you in the midst of such peace I was spared pain and suffering. As soon as I left that meeting I cried a river and smoked three cigarettes in rapid succession in order to regain my composure. I walked into men's room and as I splashed cold water on my swollen eyes and face, I prayed:
" Lord, this year is turning out to be a Character building year of epic proportions, huh?...and later joked to someone how I might only be around for another two years since I could sense the accelerating work of God in my life thus making me complete and ready for eternity where I will look back at these momentary troubles and finally understand all the mysteries surrounding them.

Keep me in your prayers. The next few weeks and months may be intense as I submit myself to the work of Spirit and prepare myself further for a rendevouz with destiny. And as much I desire for it to be accomplished, I know I must be on guard against my mind and flesh which will undoubtedly attempt to rise up and rebel against the greater work being established and carried out in my being.